Pain Intolerance

I am currently having issues with MS. I have been unable to work for over a week, confined to my bed. These symptoms are different than anything I have ever dealt with before. I used to think I was a wimp when I was younger. MS has taught me I am stronger than I thought. My pain tolerance is pretty high. I have no choice when I have lived with almost daily pain for the last 15 years. But this time is different. 

This is not a “woe is me” post. This is the realities of MS. The pain I have been in has been increasing this last week. It is more painful than anything in my life outside of childbirth. I had a neurologist tell me yesterday than MS doesn’t cause pain. He reads books but does not live it. I can promise you MS causes pain. 

The problem with being in this much pain is that everything is raw – my emotions, my patience, my nerves. I have cried so much this week and I am not a crier. I have cried in front of strangers in the ER – something my pride would never allow normally. 
The other problem is that those around me suffer as well. My husband is a saint. He is a UPS driver so he is in his busiest time of the year. Unfortunately, his sleep is interupted every night by my screams. My kids have started their winter break and instead of us doing something fun, they are confined to the house. My daughter is currently waiting on me as I cannot leave the bed. Not much of a start to their winter break. 

Not one member of my family has complained. I appreciate that so much. Unfortunately for them, this is their reality of living with a family member who has been diagnosed with a chronic disease. 

As the time goes on, my frustration increases. This is not much of a quality of life. I truly understand how people can reach their wits’ end. This humbling process is a reminder to extend grace to those around me always as you never know what they are dealing with.

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